via S.O.L.A.C.E.
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 25, 2011
Nov 21, 2011
.: Mean Moms :.
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| via islamicthinking |
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
‘I loved you enough to ask where you were going,
with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for
two hours while you cleaned your room,
a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes.
Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect..
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean?
I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Coca Cola and chips for lunch,
we had to eat home cooked meals.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You’d think we were convicts in a prison.
She had to know who our friends were
and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it,
but she had the nerve to break
the Child Labor Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel
jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night
thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds
and had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn’t let our friends just hoot at the gate
when they drove up
They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.
Because of our mother we missed out
on lots of things other kids experienced.
None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other people’s
property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what’s wrong with the world today.
It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!’
PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
(And Their Kids)
Nov 13, 2011
Nov 7, 2011
~ 10 Tips on How to be a Successful Wife
via islamicthinking
1) Use your ‘Fitnah’ (beauty and overtures of allurement) to win the heart of your husband. All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah SWT has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband. Dress up for your husband at home. Wear the colours and clothes that he likes to see you in and use makeup, perfume, jewellery - in short, whatever it takes to be attractive to him. From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses - as described in the Qur’an. Continue this tradition as a wife.
2) Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. For example, don’t start complaining or burden him with problems as soon as he comes home; rather, welcome him and make him feel good to be home. Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom - what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.
3) Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn (women of jannah), and try to imitate them. The Qur’an and Sunnah describe the women in jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to ‘enlarge’ them, and sing to your husband.
4) Do things together or at least allocate some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Be sincere in appreciating him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and opinions. Give him advice and comfort him when needed. Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Remember not to spend large amounts of his money without his permission. Show caring and concern for his relatives as this is a sure way of securing a place in his heart. Never object when he spends on them, as this is a source of abundance in provision and increase in life span.
5) Joke and play games with your husband. A mans secret: they seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humour. As Rasulullah SAW told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh. Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.
6) Be grateful to your husband. Remind yourself that it’s a tough world out there and your husband works very hard to provide for you. So whatever you do, don’t compare him to other men, unless it is favourably. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts, not just through your words, but also your actions. This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.
7) Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Stay calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tactics and powers of persuasion later to try to explain your point of view. Believe the best, not the worst about him. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up mistakes of the past. An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault. When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.”
8) Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to jannah. Rasulullah SAW taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter jannah. So please him. Simple things like serve him the foods he likes, remembering that variety is the spice of life. Try to eat together as this fosters companionship.
9) Listen and Obey! Obeying your husband is fard (obligatory). Remember that your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him does not entail any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Show respect for your husband by not divulging your private and confidential issues to others, or by complaining about him to people or discussing your marital problems with those who cannot help you.
10) Make dua to Allah SWT to make your marriage and relationship successful. All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah SWT for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah SWT into jannah.
May Allah SWT give us the favour of changing what we can change (like ourselves), patience with what we cannot change (like our spouse), and the wisdom to understand the difference. Whatever truth is in it is from Allah and His Messenger, and whatever mistakes are from the shaytaan and myself; And Allah and His Messenger are absolved from it.
~ Don’t Judge Too Quickly
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree’s life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.
Lessons:
- Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
- Don’t judge life by one difficult season.
- Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later.
Via islamicthinking
Nov 6, 2011
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