:: Choosing A Muslim Husband ::

A lot is mentioned all the time about what to look for in a wife but what about a Husband. This article will explain to you what is recommended to us by Islam in choosing a husband.

1. Deen and Character

From the Islamic perspective there are two main points of emphasis when selecting a husband: good character and Deen.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: 

“lf a man comes to you seeking marriage and you are satisfied with his deen and character, marry him – lest a fitnah (harm) and great destruction become rampant on the earth.” (Recorded by at-Tirmithi)

Unfortunately, the problem with most Muslims of today is that the financial aspects of marriage (amongst other superficial aspects) are more essential to families than these characteristics encouraged by our Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).

The reality is, however, that good moral conduct and Deen are the very characteristics that will hold a marriage together in good times and bad. For example, if a man knows his religion he will abide by the rules of Allah when it comes to his spouse, and would refrain from displeasing Allah in that regard as well. From this we see how important these characteristics are for a successful, healthy marriage which is pleasing to Allah.

A good instance is how the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) married his own daughter Fatima (radi Allah ‘anha) to Ali ibn Abi Talib (radi Allah ‘anhu). Ali did not have much money but the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) chose him for his own daughter because he had good moral conduct and was strong in his Deen.

A beautiful verse in the Qur’an about financial constraints when it comes to marriage:

“Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from his favours. Allah is Bountiful and Knowing.” (Surah al Noor: 32)

2. Red Signs
Some risky signs to look for and avoid from a religious perspective are:

a. Any signs that he might have committed Zina

b. Neglects prayers

c. Doesn’t fast in Ramadan

d. Drinks alcohol
e. Any signs of drug abuse

f. Any signs of other major sins

g. Shirk (understand the person’s ideology and understanding regarding this matter)

It is highly advised to steer clear of these specific characteristics when looking for a spouse since these are very grave matters when it comes to the Deen, and can amount to ruining one’s own faith let alone the marriage itself.

Finally, we have some great examples to follow from the lives of our pious predecessors, regarding how they got married, what their priorities were, and what they considered praiseworthy characteristics when looking for a spouse.

Indeed they also had feelings, emotions, needs, and personalities like all of us today, but what was it that they gave precedence to in all of their affairs that helped them lead such fulfilled lives? Find out for yourself!

Muslim Harmony – Advice Central Team